Definitely Date a Guy Who Writes

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Along the lines of “Date a guy who is from IIT”, “Date a guy who smokes weed”, “Date a guy who is jobless to write articles such as these” comes “Date a guy who writes”. Nerdy looking guy who uses all fancy words that makes you visit Google like for almost every sentence…why would you date such a guy like that? Good relationships are based on good communication and if you are going to spend half your time on google trying to understand what he just said then you might as well date that jobless guy from IIT who smokes weed. But wait! Don’t be so hasty in coming to conclusions. All those fancy words do come to good use. How you ask? Well let’s consider a few scenarios.

Scenario #1: Have some assignment or a research/project paper that you need to turn in but it looks well…a little less sophisticated than you hoped it would. Don’t worry! In comes Grammar Man to the rescue and sometimes he is sweet enough to fish in fresh new content that you would have a hard time believing that it is actually yours. Turn it in and you would have a grade A assignment and also a grade A boyfriend.

Scenario #2: Need to do a power point presentation and you are at wit’s end to come up with the content? Chillax and witness the presentation whiz put together things for you. From design, animations to your content it would be pure magic as the wizard charms away through your presentation. Even you would be wondering what sort of sorcery is this when you witness the marvel of his work.

Scenario #3: You want to heartbreakingly leave him and go abroad to complete your P.G. but then you see that they ask all these bizarre S.O.P.s, essays and what not. Now let’s face it. The best piece of writing you have ever come up with is your “Letter to the editor” for your 12th board exams. Who else to save you than the hero of fancy words. Despite you leaving him for two years he selflessly devotes himself to whip you up the best piece of writing he has ever come up with riddled with lies about who you are not so that you can get admission to the top universities you can find.

Scenario #4: Preparing for CAT maybe? GRE? GMAT? SNAP? XAT? NMAT? Or just about any entrance exam that has some part of verbal ability in it. Maybe verbal ability is not your forte. Words like supercalifragilistic leaves you gaping like a primitively brained orangutan. What do you do? Flash cards? Classes? Memorize word lists? Nonsense! You have a free of cost living, breathing and all other activities that reflect the scientific acronym “MRS. GREN” dictionary at your service. A date a day and verbal is yours all the way.

Scenario #5: Scenario #5 is for the time when…well…let’s just reserve scenario #5 for miscellaneous purposes in the future for something like some documentation at your place of work or something. Trust me, there will always be a Scenario #5 as writing and a supreme vocabulary can get many things done.

Apart from the many things a writer can help you accomplish there is also the bonus side of what a writer can make you feel.

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P.S.-I Love You

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I looked into her eyes…bright, brown and it seemed to be telling something that words can’t…wow! It’s amazing how one can get lost in so small a space. She smiled at me and at that very moment I felt my heart becoming light. It was as if I was in a trance. I glanced around. I was in the midst of a lake with trees lining the banks. The world was our stage and the moonlight shone upon us like a spotlight. The best part about this play was that there was no audience and it was just the two of us. I took her hand in mine and started to gently stroke her hair…her silky black hair which I caressed with pleasure.   The boat gently rocked to and fro sending ripples across the water’s surface. She playfully flicked a few drops of water at me and I pretended to beat her but I faltered when she hugged me to protect herself. I hugged her back and whispered into her ear,

‘Is this real?’

She smiled with her dimple, leaned towards me, kissed me on my cheek and said,

‘Of course not!’

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Shifting Gear

“Hey! We are going for that symposium at XYZ college, want to join us?”

“No. It ends at 7. My parents expect me to be at home by 6.”

 

“Hey! Come on Facebook for a group chat! I just got an awesome idea!”

“No. Sorry, my Dad doesn’t like me using Facebook so late in the night.”

 

“Hey! I was bored so just called to talk. What are you doing?”

“Hi! Ummm… Can I talk to you later, my Mom doesn’t like me talking to boys.”

 

“Hey! I am planning to take a short film, would you like to do a small role?”

“Wow! I would love to but my boyfriend wouldn’t like that.”

 

“Hey! We are having a small reunion dinner this weekend. Can you join?”

“I am afraid I can’t. My husband is busy this weekend and he would not like me going anywhere without him.”

 

I am sure that we would have come across these situations or at least something similar to this in our lives. I guess this is more common in Asian countries, at least in India it is.

Let us go to the beginning.

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The Psychotic Speech

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Quick! Tell me what is 132321434*21214124/4132421+213232-24546?

Never mind. What did you just do there? You started thinking. How were you able to do that? With the help of your brain. This is what I am going to talk about today. The human brain and its psychology. You may ask me why I would pick such a topic?  If we took all the phones in the world and all the wires, the number of connections and the trillions of messages per day would NOT equal the complexity or activity of a single human brain. Our brains are too complicated to be understood by our own brains.  In fact the brain is the only thing ever to name itself. Such complexity and sophistication merits discussion. This organ that looks like a cauliflower is the king of the human body and the other parts are its subjects. The brain as you know like our Mother Earth contains two hemispheres namely Left and Right hemispheres. However the notion of dominant left brain thinkers and right brain thinkers is a total myth as both sides are required to work in unison for proper functioning. Ever wondered why girls have better handwriting and superior language skills than boys? And boys excel at Mathematics and spatial skills like reading a map or navigation? The answer lies right here in your head. Men and women use different parts of their brains to process information. Women have strong left-right connectivity between the hemispheres and Men have strong front-back connectivity within hemispheres. Men are stronger in areas such as perception and action and Women are stronger in areas such as creativity and intuition, ever heard of  a woman’s instinct? Men also tend to have a larger brain than women but quantity is not necessarily equal to quality or else we can conclude that Sperm whales and Elephants are smarter than us. In fact Einstein’s brain weighed 200 grams lesser than the average male yet he turned out to be one of the most celebrated geniuses of history.

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One in a Billion!

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In the beginning there was none…then came one which in turn spawned some and that’s how we had come. Units turned to tens which became hundreds which grew to thousands which gave birth to ten thousands which created lakhs and the chain went on and suddenly BOOM!! We had ended up with a whopping 7 billion. That “BOOM!” is what we have fondly come to call as the population explosion which I am sure we would all have studied in our Social Science textbook. Being from the second most populous country of the world with a head count of 1.23 billion I would like to present my take on living with such numbers. So living with 1.2 billion, a boon or bane? That seems to be the million dollar question. It depends on your take on it. Do you like getting your teeth knocked out in the mad rush to get seats on a train or bus that’s just about to leave a station or terminus? Do you like waiting for days in long queues ranging from getting tickets in a local metro to paying homage to a God?  Do you like travelling in a general train compartment or a bus that’s jam packed like sardines in a tin? Do you like seeing people littering and befouling the public? Do you like people begging you? What would your answer to those questions be?

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