Trial & Error – Part 3

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I got to know that she knew long back itself that I loved her, apparently Anisha was not as trustworthy enough as I had expected. Anisha had been teasing her silly just like she did to me. She risked the midnight birthday party not only because Anisha was her best friend but also because she wanted to spend some time with me. We would go for movies together and always sit in the corner and watch the film holding hands and fighting on who gets a bigger share of the popcorn. We would have silly bets and whoever loses had to pay the bill the next time we went out and I lost the most but many of them were on purpose as I wanted to spend for her and take care of her. We would debate about where to eat and that would take hours for us to decide. She would cook for me delicious food ranging from white pasta to corn and cheese balls and bring it in small lunch boxes for me to taste. She would make me beg for a kiss every time but she would only offer it on special moments and occasions or when she says that she loves me so much that she just can’t find words to express it. We loved walking together, we would walk for miles together and talk about everything under the sun and moon. We texted each other day and night on all seasons and her phone bills escalated to a new high as she always called up and we were in conversation for hours together. We could pretend to be really immature and have the most childish of conversations and we could also be very mature and have the most intellectual of discussions. She made me feel like a child and forget all my troubles. I vowed never to do drugs but she was the one drug I did not mind getting addicted to. I really loved her for not only for who she was but also for who I am when I am with her. Our love was strong even when she finished her U.G. and joined her P.G. . It never lost its charm. She was not interested in doing a P.G. but was more interested in going for the civil services. But she opted to do P.G. as she wanted to buy more time so that I can finish my degree and get a job and then she can tell her parents about me.  Meanwhile I had my own reservations about what my parents would say given that I had a younger sister who was still in school. I finished my degree with honours and was eager to get back home. I loved my hostel life but missed my home even more. I was filled with excitement when I boarded my train back to my hometown.

A sense of joy swept through me as the train entered the station and I saw the yellow sign that bore the name of my home town. As I stepped on to the platform a wave of nostalgia caught me. It seemed just like yesterday that I was on my way to the 1st day of college. I boarded the bus and got down at my stop. Things haven’t changed much. There was the bakery where I had those scrumptious puffs when I saved up money and there was the supermarket where I bought ice-cream cones, chocolates and all other snack items I can think of. I rang the bell to be greeted by my sister.

‘Hey! Train got delayed huh?’ she asked opening the door.

‘Yeah, it was stuck for one hour at a signal.’ I replied sinking into the chair. ‘Don’t you have school today?’

‘Nah. I am on leave. Want some water?’

‘Yeah. Some chilled water would be awesome. Where’s Mom?’

‘She has gone to the market for buying the groceries. She kept asking me to call you when you got late but I knew that it must be because the train was late as usual so didn’t bother much. Why don’t you get some sleep? Your eyes look red.’ She said handing me a bottle of water.

‘Yeah, I guess I will. I didn’t sleep much last night. Good night then.’

If there was one thing that has changed it would have to be my room. Before I went to college I had my own room and my sister used to sleep with Mom and Dad but now from the posters of her favourite girl band, the neat organized cleanliness, pink and purple bed covers and the dressing table filled with creams, lotions and brushes it was evident that my sister has taken up camp here.

‘Like the new look?’ my sister asked standing at the door with a grin on her face.

‘Out of all the colours in the world you had to choose pink?’ I asked exasperatedly looking at the bed spread.

‘And purple! I thought I’d add my personal touch to the room.’

‘Whatever.’ I muttered too tired to argue and sank into my bed or more like her bed.

It was dinner time by the time I woke up. I checked my watch and it said 9:00 p.m.

My sister was watching T.V. and Mom was in the kitchen preparing dinner.

‘How was the journey?’ my Mom asked as I sleepily hobbled into the kitchen.

‘It was fine, train got late as usual. What’s for dinner?’

‘Naan and paneer.’

Ah! The best welcome back home feast I can get. Naan and paneer were my favourite right from childhood.

‘How’s Dad doing?’

‘He’s fine. Just jumping from one job to another. He must have had at least 7 jobs the past 5 months.’

‘Why?’

‘He says that he is too old as he is 54 and in a time where even degree holders can’t get jobs how do you expect a person who has not even finished school to get a job?’

All of a sudden dinner seemed less appealing. Naan and Paneer were not exactly cheap to make. But I guess my Mom wanted something special just for me as I came back home after a long time.

‘But I think that they are just excuses and not reasons. Look at your uncle, he is older than your Dad and he too didn’t finish school but yet he manages to earn money as a cashier at a restaurant. Your Dad doesn’t give a single rupee for any expenses. He always just takes out his wallet, opens it and shows it to me saying that it is empty. I somehow manage to make a little money by taking cookery classes and handicraft classes in the neighbourhood ’

She sounded bitter. I wanted to say something comforting but I couldn’t think of anything.

‘But don’t let that worry you. Just a few more months and all our troubles would be over. You already got placed with a salary package of 7.5 lakhs per annum. We can pay off all our debts within a year, get a new house through home loan and your sister can go to a very high class college…’ she said with a smile as she was cleaning the dishes.

She had more plans with my earnings than I have had myself. Guilt started to envelope me. I went back to my bedroom and stared at the wall. How can I tell them? I didn’t even want to imagine their responses. Suddenly the doorbell rang. It had to be my Dad. I went to greet him. He looked older than ever before.

‘How’s college?’ he asked on seeing me.

‘Good.’ I replied.

‘Dinner is ready. Shall we eat?’ my Dad asked sitting down at the table.

A few minutes later we were seated at the table having dinner. It was filled with small talk about my college, sister’s school and other things. My sister and Mom already had dinner and were sitting around the table. Then came the question about the topic I had dreaded about.

‘So, when are you joining work?’

‘The training starts in a couple of weeks and I was supposed to join from this August.’

‘Uh-huh. Asha bring that blue cover from the bedroom.’

She brought it and gave it to my Dad. He gave it to me and told to open it.

It had two formal checked shirts. My Dad liked checked shirts.

‘What do you think? I thought you’d like it to wear to the office. How many days are you going to wear old and faded out shirts.’ He said smiling.

‘It’s nice. But it looks expensive.’

‘It is a necessary investment. I am sure we can get a good return when you start working.’ He said with a wink.

I couldn’t hide it anymore. I had to put an end to this before their imaginations become too big to handle.

‘Dad…I have something to tell you.’

‘Yes?’

‘I…ummm…rejected the offer.’

I expected him to shout but instead he calmly asked me, ‘Why?’

‘I just can’t sit in an office cubicle and nod “Yes, Sir”, “Yes, Madam” and obey every single order given to me without a question. I just don’t believe in a 9-5 job. I don’t want to get caught in this rat race. I want something more in life. I don’t want to exchange my freedom for a salary package. I want to achieve more.’

‘So what do you want to do?’

‘I want to do my own business. A start up. I have found a partner. He will be able to set up the initial funding. Later when our business gets better we can find more investors.’

‘And what’s this business about?’

‘It is a consultancy and services based company. We do a range of services from designing, software engineering, system maintenance, networking, marketing, product enhancement, business and financial consulting, technical consulting and so on. We use to provide these as freelancers when we were in college and now we want to make this a full time profession. Later we look forward to manufacturing our own products.’

My Dad started shaking his head.

‘Do you realize how much risk is involved in starting your own business?’

‘No Dad. We already know a few clients and have some good contacts. We have everything planned out and properly strategized.’

I looked at my Mom for support but all she had to offer was a look of disappointment.

‘Why take the hard way when there is an easy way? We don’t need this business. We can’t afford the risks. Why don’t you think about our family situation? We are not rich enough to have the liberty of starting our own business.’

‘It’s not about “we”, this is about me! This is what I want to do! I am tired of doing what you want me to do.’

My Dad got onto his feet angrily.

‘I have fed you, housed you and took care of you for 20 years! So I expect you to return the favour and do what we want. What would have happened if I had been selfish like you and not taken care of you?’

I couldn’t take it anymore. It seemed so unfair.

‘I wanted to do Commerce but you forced me into Science stream in school. I didn’t want to do Engineering but you forced me as you said it was the only degree which had a guarantee of getting a job. I couldn’t go to the college I wanted because you couldn’t afford it. I was not able to do anything I wanted because I barely had money to get through the month. I was not able to achieve my full potential because of you. You have been nothing but a hindrance to my growth. You look at me like I am some sort of insurance plan or a guarantee that would bail you out. This is your family, it is your responsibility to look after it. I have my own dreams, my own aspirations and I will have my own family to take care of. If I keep running around doing what you failed to do for us when will I be able to do anything for myself? You don’t have a single rupee to your name in any bank, not even your own house but you have plenty of debts everywhere from everyone. You expect me to do everything for you. My whole life would be spent in paying off your debts, paying off a home loan, paying for Asha’s education, paying off your medical bills and I have nothing left for myself. I want to live a life for myself rather than devote it wholly for others. Is that too much to ask? You just want to dump all your responsibilities on my head so as to cover up your failure. Am I selfish or are you?’

I too was on my feet. My Dad was glaring at me with his face all red.

‘Get out. I don’t want to burden anyone with my responsibilities. I can take care of this family very well without your help. You can do whatever you want. GET OUT!’

‘FINE. I will.’ I retorted.

I was shaking with anger. I stormed into my room and shut the door. I started packing my suitcase. I have had enough. I am no saint and my family aren’t Gods to devote my life to. Not that I don’t love them but I need them to respect my goals and ambitions. I zipped the suitcase and thrust open the door. My Mom and sister were still seated at the table. My Dad had shut himself in the room.

‘Where are you going?’ my Mom asked eyeing my suitcase.

She seemed very depressed.

‘Back to college. I don’t want to stay here. I need some peace of mind.’

‘You know how Dad is. He doesn’t know what to say when he gets angry. You just came today, what do you mean that you are leaving?’

‘I mean that I don’t want to come back. I am fed up. I have put up with all this all these years because I didn’t have a choice but now I do and I choose to leave.’ I said.

‘You don’t mean that.’ Said Asha trying to tug away my grip from my suitcase.

‘Maybe I do. If you are not going to support my aspirations then I will brave it out alone. Look, I just need my personal space. I will prove to you in the future that I am taking the right decision now. I just can’t be in an environment where I feel discouraged.’ I said pulling away from her grasp.

‘Karthik. You do not have to “brave it out alone”.’ Said my sister giving me a hug. ‘I understand. Good luck. Keep in touch.’

All of a sudden my respect for my sister increased by many folds. She was no longer the little girl whom I knew.

‘What are you saying? Tell him to go inside, not outside.’ Said my Mom looking at my sister.

‘Mom, let him go. He will come back.’ Said Asha.

‘It’s 11 o’clock. Where will you go now?’ my Mom asked looking at the clock.

‘I am not your little boy anymore. I can take care of myself.’ I said opening the door. ‘Asha take care of Mom and Dad. If there is any need then call me. Bye Mom.’

I shut the door and kept walking. I just kept walking without any clear plan or idea. Finally I just sank into the seat at a bus top. It was close to midnight. There wasn’t a soul in sight. And here I was holding onto a suitcase all alone. I checked my cell phone. 7 missed calls from Anisha. Will she be awake now? I badly wanted someone to talk to.

‘Awake?’ I texted her.

In less than couple of minutes I got her reply, ‘Yeah!’

‘Can I call you now?’

‘Why? What happened?’

‘I came out of home. I had a small fight.’

‘What?? Wait let me go to the terrace and call you.’

A few minutes later I got her call.

‘In the terrace?’

‘Yes. Tell me what happened.’

I recounted to her the whole story and she patiently listened to me till the end.

‘You call this a “small fight”.’ She asked incredulously.

‘Ok. I am sorry for not exaggerating it.’

‘More like elaborating it. Now what are you going to do?’

‘Well, I have nearly 40,000 which I got from my freelancing work. I’ll stay in a small lodge or something till I can find something else.’

‘Are you mad? Come back here. You can stay at my place. My mom wouldn’t mind. Or talk to Dushyanth.’

‘No am fine. I can manage.’ I said not wanting to be a burden to my friends.

‘Balls! Don’t make me swear Karthik.’ She said raising her voice,’You won’t be a burden. We are your friends. We will be there for you through thick and thin. We will always be there for you. We love you dude. Either you get your butt back down here in the next train or else I will personally come there and haul your butt back here!’

I was overwhelmed on hearing this. I felt a hard lump forming in my throat and my eyes started to sting.

‘I love you guys.’ I said trying to keep my voice even and prevent it from breaking up.

‘Good. Now go to the station. Catch a train and I will meet you at the station in the morning. Ok?’

‘Ok.’

‘See you soon. Text me when you get the train. I will be there at the other end. Bye.’ She said and cut the call.

I felt new hope ignite within me. I picked up my bag and headed for the station and boarded the 1st train I could get. It wasn’t any ordinary train ride, I planned out my whole life in that train journey. Sure enough when I got down at my destination 8 hours later I was hugged by Anisha and Dushyanth took my bag from me. I did not know where we were headed when I got into the car with both of them. Nobody spoke while Dushyanth drove. Anisha was silent in the backseat. I guess they were expecting me to speak first. The car finally grinded to a halt at Dushyanth’s house and a few minutes later we were seated in his living room. It was close to 8 in the morning. His Mom made us some coffee and I sat there sipping it while lost in thought. His Dad was on the porch in his armchair reading a newspaper.

‘You can stay at my place as long as you want. You can make yourself at home here.’ Said Dushyanth finally breaking the silence.

‘I don’t think that’s…I have no idea how long…’ I started mumbling unsure of what to say.

‘You can take as long as you want. No one has a problem.’ Said Anisha firmly.

’Dad? What do you think about having Karthik staying with us?’ asked Dushyanth on seeing my face still look unconvinced.

‘I have no problem with it. He can’t be more troublesome than you I guess.’ He replied with a smile at me and continued to read the newspaper.

‘Mom?’ asked Dushyanth to Aunty who was in the kitchen.

‘Guess that would mean I would have one more guinea pig to experiment my cooking with.’ She replied with a laugh.

I could not take it any longer. I broke down and tears started streaming down.

‘Men don’t cry.’ Said Dushyanth gripping my shoulder.

‘I am not crying! My eyes just happen to be natural sprinklers.’ I said through my tears and we all laughed like nutters.

I was made welcome at Dushyanth’s house like I was a part of his family. It was like as if I had lived with them for years. I was truly blessed. My friend Sumit and I had always dreamt of giving work to someone rather than working for someone. Being an employer meant working to achieve your dreams whereas being an employee meant working to achieve someone else’s dreams. We had found a small space that we turned into our working place and hired a few interns. Things were initially dull but as we completed more orders we started to get better offers as we started building a reputation. We used the social networks to advertise and build a brand. We even recruited a couple of interns to work full time. In the weekends I would meet up with Zara and we’ll wind down to some special evenings all to ourselves. My family didn’t totally ignore me either. My Mom and Sis called up occasionally and asked about my wellbeing. I guess my Dad will only realize that I was right when I can show him that I can stand on my own feet. Still that didn’t stop him from talking to Dushyanth’s Dad and ask about me, I was at peace when I knew that he still cared. Things were going peacefully until one fateful day. It all started with a phone call.

‘Karthik! Where are you?’ asked Zara with a trace of panic in her voice as I answered the call.

‘I am at work. What’s up?’

‘It’s my Dad. He had started taking up wedding plans. He wants me married next year as soon as I get my degree. I couldn’t hide it any longer. I told him about us. Now he wants to see you.’

‘Woah! What was his reaction when you told him?’

‘Naturally he was not pleased. He doesn’t like love and all. But he said he is willing to consider after he meets you. Oh Karthik! I am so scared.’

‘Relax! When and where does he want to meet?’

‘Tomorrow. Can you come in the evening when you have finished your work? Like at 7?’

‘Alright. Don’t worry.  We’ll make it through together.’

‘I am just scared and nervous. I’ll tell him. Please don’t be late.’

‘I won’t. You know how punctual I am.’ I said with a smile.

‘I do! That’s why I asked you not be late.’ She said with a laugh, ’Bye Karthik. Fingers crossed.’

It was close to 7 when I reached her house the next day. She opened the door but did not speak a word. She gestured me to sit down and went to bring her Dad. The truth was I was damn scared and nervous. My knees shook badly. I wasn’t this nervous even when I attended my interviews or had to convince some investors to invest in our start-up. Her Dad was a tall, hefty man with a large moustache. His intimidating appearance did nothing to calm my nerves. I got up to greet him.

‘Hello Sir.’ I said offering my hand which he shook curtly and we sat down. Zara stood there behind her Dad her face wrought with tension. It was one of the most awkward silences ever.

‘Sit down.’ He said gesturing his daughter to sit next to him and she obediently obliged.

‘Karthik, right? My name is Zhaveri. I am sure my daughter would have told you about me?’

‘Oh yes ofcourse! She always talks about you. You are like the benchmark she compares every man to. She’s always like my dad is that my dad is this and so on.’ I said with a smile.

‘Really? So you know enough about me already. I would like to know about you.’

‘Sure sir. What would you like to know?’

‘How did you two meet? Who proposed first?’ he asked with a poker face.

I was kind of taken aback. I recounted our whole experience starting back from the 1st time I saw her at the symposium. At the end of the flashback he still had a poker face and it was hard to discern what was going on in his mind.

‘What do your parents do?’

‘My Dad works as a supervisor at a hotel and my Mom is a housewife. They live in Coimbatore.’

‘Any siblings?’

‘Yes. Asha, my sister. She is doing her 10th.’

‘You stay in your own house?’

‘No sir. It’s a rented house. I stay here at my friend’s house.’

‘Oh!’ he said with a sombre look on his face.

‘Does your family have any property or bank balance?’

‘No sir. We are a lower middleclass family.’ I said quietly and saw his face turn even graver.

‘Which college did you go to?’

‘S.E.C. , I did B.E. in C.S.E.’

‘Where’s that college?’

‘Near Jamalia junction.’

‘Oh! Are you working now?’

‘Yes sir. I am a co-owner of a start-up. It’s going pretty well. We hope to break even soon and then it will be a very profitable business.’

‘Break even?’ he asked raising his eyebrows.

‘Yes sir. Right now we are only in the initial phase so we are not self-supporting. We rely on investors and hence the profit obtained is usually just about enough to run the operations. We will be able to make enough profit soon to be able to come out of that to make a sizeable profit enough to sustain ourselves. All it takes is a little patience.’ I said a little anxiously.

‘So you have no own house, no property, no proper bank balance, studied in a college that is virtually unknown, no proper job and you are working for a start-up for which you are only partially an owner.’ He asked with disdain.

I felt my face sting with a little anger and humiliation.

‘I promise you that I can take care of your daughter and she won’t have anything to worry about.’

‘How can I trust my daughter to live happily with someone who has nothing?’ he asked looking highly sceptical.

I felt my face get hotter. I looked at Zara for support but she just stared at the floor pretending to be oblivious to what was going on.

‘No offence son but I have been in the business long enough to see that a vast majority of start-ups never make it. It’s a gamble. I am not willing to take the same risk by gambling with my daughter’s life.’

‘Sir, it won’t be a gamble. We are doing great as of now.’ I insisted looking at him in disbelief.

As of now…it will look great at the start but things may fall apart before you know it. Success at start-ups is a fickle thing. I am old enough. I have seen start-ups become grocery stores. How can you call it great even before you have “broken even”. Entrepreneurship and the urge to hand out business cards with the words CEO printed on it has become a fad among youth nowadays. Zara told me that you were offered a lucrative placement offer but you rejected it?’ he said with a tone of scepticism.

‘Yes sir, but I was not interested in it as I believe I would do better by creating my own brand of business. I wanted people to be a part of my vision rather than be a part of someone else’s vision.’ I said trying to sound confident.

‘And your parents let you take this risk? Didn’t they want you to take the job offer? Especially when you have a younger sister who is still in school?’ he said his eyebrows rising even further.

‘They did object but I was firm in my stand.’  I said in a low voice.

‘Hmmm…When you choose to be irresponsible to your family how will I trust you to be responsible with my daughter?’ he said searching my face for an answer.

‘Give me some time to prove myself.’ I said after a pause.

‘How long are you expecting?’

‘A year.’

‘And if you are unable to do so?’

I did not answer him. I looked at Zara who avoided my eyes.

‘If you are unable to do so then you leave her alone and she marries whom I say.’ He said getting up on his feet.

The conversation was over. He wanted me to leave. I too got on my feet and nodded my head not knowing what else to say. I guess I had been too filmy in challenging him to one year but I had faith in my company. I believed we would make it through. But my belief was battered at the end of the 365 days I had asked for. Things went awry. Sumit and I had a disagreement. I had found him misusing our funds that we had got from investors. When I tried to reason with him he retaliated by saying that he was the one who invested all his money in the initial stage to setup the business so he has the sole rights to decide what to do with the money. As a result we had still not broken even when we should have a few months back. It all culminated into a big argument one day and he decided that he had enough and chose to break away. That meant that he took away all the equipment and also the office space as he had bought it. With no office and no equipment the employees too consequently quit. I was back to having nothing. I felt betrayed. I did not know what to do. I felt as if the world had come crashing down upon me. I called Zara, the only one source of happiness I had left in the world. We met up for a movie at Nexus. I thought seeing a movie would help but it did not. It was a weekday afternoon so the theatre was not that full. So it was almost like a private screening just for us.

‘Zara? Are you seriously watching the movie?’ I asked hesitantly while giving a hand a gentle squeeze.

‘Yes, why?’ she said casting me a casual glance.

‘I want to talk.’ I said firmly.

‘Tell me.’ She said diverting her full attention to me.

‘Sumit and I had a disagreement about him misusing the funds and he quit. That inevitably means that we have to shut down the company as he owns the place and equipment.’ I said quickly so that I can get it over with.

‘Oh Karthik! My Dad told you to forget about start-ups and try for a real job. What will I say to him now?’ she said her face wrinkling up with disappointment.

I felt let down. I had expected her to console me and tell me I can make it. But she chose to worry about her Dad.

‘The same thing you told him when you kept quiet when he was questioning me like a police officer and I was seeking your support in vain.’ I retorted back irritably.

‘Don’t blame me. I told you to look for a proper job and not go chasing your fantasy. Your Dad told you, my Dad told you and even I told you but you would never listen. Your passion meant more to you than your family or me for that matter.’ She said firing up.

‘So is it my fault if I want to follow my dreams?’ I asked her raising my voice.

‘It’s your fault for being selfish and not bother about what other’s dreams are.’ She said with a glare.

‘I can’t believe this! I thought you were the only one who would understand me and support me.’ I shouted and a few people turned their heads towards us but I didn’t care.

‘How do you expect me to support you when you are doing the wrong thing and being adamant and stubborn despite us all advising you?’ she asked angrily, ‘What will I tell Dad? What if he asks me to get married to someone because of this screwed up challenge you made with him?’

‘Then go marry him. All you and your family care about is money. You think you deserve nothing short of a billionaire. Did you see that man question me? Do you have your own house, do you have bank balance…and all you did was stare at the floor without supporting me one bit. Go and marry a guy with all what you expect, hope you are happy then. Never knew that you were so obsessed with money. Money minded parasites.’ I yelled in my anger and frustration.

Her eyes widened in anger and her lips narrowed in contempt. She gave me one quelling look and slapped me hard. I was too furious to go after her. I spotted a few eyes staring at me but they quickly averted their gaze back on to the screen when I looked back at them. I sat there watching the whole movie…more like gazing at the screen while inside my head one thought after another kept tumbling. Days passed after that and I got no text message nor call. Dushyanth and Anisha kept bugging me to call or message her. They even grabbed my phone and dialled her number but she never attended it. They tried calling only to receive the same response. They even told me to go to her house but I figured it just might make things worse. I believed that she would come back. She just needed time to cool off. But I had never been so wrong. Facebook put an end to my belief. I saw it on my newsfeed when I was mindlessly browsing.

 Zara Sheriff engaged to Asad Jiffry

My heart almost stopped beating. I could not believe it. I prayed to God that it was just a nightmare but there was no escaping reality. There was a prickling sensation surging through me. It was a wave of disappointment that crashed over my fortress of hope. I checked out this Asad’s Facebook profile and LinkedIn profile. I am so much better, way better than him. Why couldn’t I be the one? What did he have that I didn’t? I had much more. The only thing he had that I did not have was money.  It was not anger but just resentment, a hopeless feeling of helplessness. I wanted to yell to let my feelings out as it was painful to bottle it up with no one to share.  My eyes started to get moist but I quickly got up and shook my head. No! I won’t sit around thinking about what has happened! It’s pointless and a waste of time. I looked at myself in the mirror. ‘Everything happens for a reason Karthik.’ I told my reflection. ‘You are the only person I’ve got for now.’ I went to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face.

I woke the next day morning hoping it had been a nightmare. How much had I hoped it was just a nightmare! Love comes with no guarantees. I guess most of it is just trial and error. Nobody succeeds the 1st time. Failure provides you valuable lessons for the relationships in the future. Meaningless consolations started tumbling one after another.  Maybe it’s about the money? I barely have enough money to spend for even my basic necessities I just can’t manage to spend for a girlfriend let alone a family. But I thought love transcended beyond money, looks and other non-permanent things and it was really a matter of hearts. So did that mean I was not slated for love in my life? I just want someone who is always there for me. Makes me smile and forget my troubles, someone whom I can be alone with for hours at end and never feel bored, someone who understands me, cares for me, someone who will come anywhere with me to make me feel better. I thought she was that someone but it had turned out to be a lie. Anisha and Dushyanth egged me on to go and talk her out of her decision but my ego stopped me. If she was cold enough to take that step, let her. I did not want to force anyone to love me. Anisha went for the wedding. Dushyanth did not. I guess he wanted to stay back to make me feel better. The last time I saw her were in her wedding photos on Facebook…then I blocked her…I left back to my hometown and never wanted to see nor hear of her again. Anisha was careful not to talk about her. Life went on like she never existed…but not before the 2 years it took me to move on…

To be continued………..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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